Queer Tea
by TangerineFields
Summary: Remus still can't quite believe Sirius has forgotten his birthday. RemusxSirius. Fluff.


_A/N: This is M'rika's birthday fic, because of her great love of Remus and tea I thought I'd combine the two :) Enjoy_

_Disclaimer: Neither Remus, Sirius or James, or Remus' pomegranate and raspberry tea belong to me._

**Queer Tea**

Remus had always been a big fan of tea. He couldn't help it. It was in his nature, he supposed – there was something so inherently British and therefore incredibly comforting about tea. He liked the simplicity of the routine, the whistle of the kettle on the hob as it threw steam into whichever cramped kitchen he happened to be occupying at the time.

It was a never ending source of amusement to Remus that Sirius _didn't_ like tea. He, of course, was far too sophisticated for a drink that, in his words, got you one step closer to a blue rinse every time you filled the kettle. Sirius was a coffee person and unashamedly so.

"Not your bloody herbal teas again?" He ranted, as he dropped the shopping onto their tiny kitchen table. "I swear, if you make one more cup of the shit you'll turn queer."

Remus glanced at him and raised a quizzical eyebrow.

Sirius scowled. "You know what I mean."

"No," Remus turned back to stirring his tea. "Pray enlighten me."

"Well it smells."

"Yes?"

"Forget I said anything."

When Sirius had finished banging about with the groceries and generally getting in Remus' way, he dropped into one of their rickety kitchen chairs, lifted up his mug of herbal tea and inhaled and a look of immense satisfaction spread slowly across his worn face.

"You're wrong," he called into the lounge, not really caring whether his boyfriend was listening. "It smells like heaven."

Sirius stuck his head around the door. "If that's your bloody heaven…" He began, and then stopped and swore. Someone appeared to be attempting to gain entry to the flat using a battering ram.

"Oi! Jamesy!" Sirius shot to the door with the speed of a terrified rabbit. "Quit it wanker you'll have the bloody landlord down!"

Remus sighed, and inhaled his cooling tea. Part of him couldn't quite believe Sirius had forgotten, but then the rational side of his brain remembered the war and the death of the Jorkinses last week and informed him that it was only natural after all. He took a sip, and sighed more heavily. He just wished knowing that would make him feel better.

"Hey Moons!" James burst into the kitchen in a flurry of streamers and an armful of brightly wrapped presents. "Happy Birthday!"

Remus barely had time to look up before being engulfed in a bone squashing hug. "Mmmffftt…" he mumbled.

James released him only to grab his arm in a decidedly vicelike grip. "Come on, cos your boyfriend and my absolute tosser of a best friend is so bloody useless," he shot a glare at a sheepish looking Sirius. "Lily and moi are taking you out tonight. Sirius can tag along too, I suppose."

Remus barely had time to mutter either thanks or protest about his wasted tea before James was bundling him into his coat. "Wait!" Remus gasped, grabbing onto the doorframe for dear life. "James, I appreciate this, I really do but…" Remus trailed off and sighed. He supposed he was still waiting for Sirius to throw some sort of surprise party, or at least turn the lights down, put the ELO on and snog him senseless.

James' expression had quickly turned from jubilant to downcast. "What Rem mate?"

"I-" Remus glanced back at Sirius and floundered.

"Nah, Rem…" Sirius pulled the hair at the nape of his neck nervously. "Go on, I'll er-" He cleared his throat. "I'll see you when you get back, right?"

Remus looked down at his shoes. "Course," he murmured, swallowing the lump in his throat. James' grip on his arm tightened.

"Come on, mate," he nudged Remus. "We're gonna have a good night."

* * *

><p>Remus knew something was wrong the moment he stepped into the flat. It smelt of tea. Not even his tea. He sniffed the air. There were raspberries there, and something exotic that he couldn't put his finger on. His pulse fluttered.<p>

"Sirius?" He called into the darkened hallway. No answer.

The daftest part of his brain told him they'd been burgled and that the burglar, extrapolating from the mess that the flat was some sort of bachelor pad, had locked Sirius in the bedroom and assumed they have time for a quick cuppa before making a dash for it.

"Oh come on, Remus," he muttered under his breath. "What sort of criminal drinks fruit tea?"

The lights at the end of the hall flickered on, and Sirius stood silhouetted in the doorway, holding two steaming mugs of tea. "A smooth one," he grinned, and proffered the drink. "Happy Birthday Remy."

"You mean you hadn't-"

Sirius grinned, "Course not. I might not be the world's best boyfriend, but I'm not that shit." He held the tea out to Remus. "Come on, it's goin' cold and I'm not making you more."

Remus took the mug in cold hands. "This is new," he said stupidly.

"Yep, ten points to Gryffindor Moons for being familiar with that little known tradition of giving gifts on people's birthdays."

"But you hate my tea." Remus blinked at him. "Oh you wanker, you'd do anything to throw me off the scent, wouldn't you?"

Sirius took a gulp of his tea. "You know they've taken gullible out of the dictionary," he laughed and wrapped an arm around Remus' waist. "Besides," he murmured. "I love you, idiot. Queer tea and all."


End file.
